The latest buzz word at the moment, or should I say buzz idea, is the world and its wife telling us not to wait. Wanna start that dream life? Don’t wait til New Year’s Day. Wanna lose weight? Don’t sack it off until January. Start TODAY. RIGHT NOW. THIS INSTANT. I must have read every article and blog post going about how we have to take control before we’ve finished reading said narrative.
But what happens when you’re in limbo? Stuck between two massively different ways of life, not yet finished with one and so lacking the sheer brain space to start the other. Also, surely not all life decisions are created equal, right? I’ve made some pretty headstrong decisions down the years, like moving to London by myself at 22 with no job and knowing no-one. Or tearing up my Uni applications to study Law at the 11th hour and re-write them to apply for American Studies instead. Starting my own sideline online retail business was very scary and then 8 years later acknowledging that it wasn’t working and it was time to call it a day. I’m not afraid to try, to take risks and learn. I’d always rather look back on my life knowing I gave it a shot than living in the shadows every day.
And yet here I am, a month shy of my 39th birthday having just made arguably the biggest (insert craziest? ballsiest?) decision of my life. Some of you reading this will already know but I’ve handed in my notice on my day job after nearly 16 years. Bye bye regular income. Bye bye private health care. Bye bye pension. This is the third week of my four week notice period. Then that’s all folks.
I’m so excited for the future to start even though I don’t really have any idea at the moment of what that future looks like. I know that it definitely won’t be a return to full-time regular employment at least for a few months. I’ll be dipping my toes into freelancer life and have saved up a nest egg to keep things ticking along in the background. The majority of women take a career break at some point in their lives, more often than not to have a child. I’ve been working non-stop since my 23rd birthday so it’s time to see if things could look different.
Am I determined to make it work? Yes. Am I also aware that maybe the freelance life might not be for me? Hell yes. I’m nothing if not pragmatic and have a pretty level head on my shoulders. I know it will be bloody hard work, stressful, isolating. I know there will be times when I think I’ve made the wrong decision. But those moments will be fleeting and the rest of the time I’ll wake up happy every day that I can define my own destiny.
There’s so much I’m excited for, everything from creating more content to learning new skills, working on the next home projects and seeing more of London. I love writing about interiors and home but I’m also just as happy writing about London and travel and food and life so mixing up blog content is definitely on the agenda. Being able to say yes more, meeting more lovely people. I genuinely can’t wait to get started.
For now though, for now I’m living that limbo life. The in between time where I need to focus on the past just for a little while longer so it doesn’t affect my future. To all intents and purposes the new me has already arrived, but if I’ve waited 16 years for the rest of my life to start, I can wait another two weeks.
Thank you so much to everyone who has supported me virtually, either via reading my blog or chatting on Instagram. I never imagined when I started (who does?) that this could potentially lead to an alternative reality for me. At the very least its given me huge amounts of confidence to be brave enough to launch myself into the future. I’ve had some amazing opportunities so far when I’ve only really been able to dedicate about 10% of my time to this online space. I hope I’m writing a post at the end of 2019 telling you all about leaping off the cliff and how amazing it was to learn to fly.